Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
