I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
