I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
A bitchslap is in order.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
