did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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