What a fucking waste of an outfit
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
