I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
soo... how was my night?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
