How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
