but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
