So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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