he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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