i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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