the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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