sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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