So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
