I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
