i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
