apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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