I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
