and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm always down for nudity.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize