He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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