if i can run in heels then i can drive
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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