I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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