just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
false alarm. still invincible.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
