I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
