i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You ruined the universe
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
