Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize