I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
