I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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