Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize