Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
