she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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