He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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