No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
