everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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