wanna go halves on a baby?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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