Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have fence marks all over my body
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
