No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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