It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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