i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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