Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
