Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
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I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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