I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
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