Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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