I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
