god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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