I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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