I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I love you.
Bad choice
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