I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
