i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
