she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
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I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
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when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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