Buhtt sex?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
