I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize