even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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