mondays should just be called national damage control day
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
