And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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