Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize