You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
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I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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