someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
