I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
wow bdsm is so cute
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
