How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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