Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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