I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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