great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
