I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize