I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize